Last night on the nation’s nightmare, Q and A, Kelly O’Dwyer mentioned helping a small business buy a $6000 toaster. Which is just perfect, after Malcolm Turnbull suggesting parents loan their kids money to buy their first home (???!!) which is, obviously, very possible.
Anyway, here are some things No Award could buy with $6000 from the government:
- a billion hours of therapy for the nomcat
- 40 hours of therapy for human Australians – BEFORE the $124.50 Medicare rebate
- a quite decent secondhand car
- two MacBook Pros
- two months off work
- 153 of Kmart’s fanciest toasters
- or one of Kmart’s fanciest toasters and 1987 loaves of fresh bread
- maybe make it 1985 loaves and get some butter/Nutellex and Vegemite as well?
- rent for many months on either of our apartments
- or rent for a week in Sydney AHAHAHAHAHAHohgod
- 40 nights in crisis accommodation for a family at Melbourne City Mission (and many evenings of beds in other accommodations such as Homeground)
- a lot of food for the ASRC food bank
- funding for an artist to conduct a six month residency
- keep an asylum seeker in detention on Nauru for 54 days (we wouldn’t though, AUS GOVT and NOR SHOULD YOU)
- OR, support an asylum seeker in the Australian community for six months
- 857 large jars of Nutella
- 24 vintage ladies bikes
- or some other amount of better bikes
- about 2000 rolls of washi tape, give or take
- 500 months of Netflix
- 63 – 240 months of Foxtel Play
- Approximately 2033 packages of coloured reflective doodads for your bike/wheelchair
- About 2777 flashing armbands for raves/night cycling/scaring the cat
